#1  - HOW TO WRITE A  SONNET


1. Learn how to count up to 14. This is because the sonnet has 14 lines, not one more or one less.

2.

You need a good first line, something like 

      O Celia, since I have been living 

which you will see is in iambic pentameter, which is like “dee DUM dee DUM dee DUM dee DUM dee DUM”. (You might think “Celia” isn’t said like that, but this is poetry and not the real world.) Of course, the line needs to be good and interesting like this one, and followed by a second of equal quality, like this:

      Alone inside this giant portmanteau 


3. Having got off to a good start you have to decide on the type of sonnet you want to write, because there are a few to choose from. It would probably be a good idea to decide this before you begin. I suggest you go for the Shakespearean rather than any other kind, because it’s English and therefore patriotic. In the Shakespearean sonnet, the rhyme scheme is ABAB CDCD EFEF GG. This means the last word (A) of your 3rd line has to rhyme with the last word (A)of your 1st line, and the last word (B)of your 4th line has to rhyme with the last word (B) of your 2nd line, then on the 5th line (C) you start using a new sound, and then it goes on from there until the end. I’m sure you can work it out, because it’s not brain science, and it’s far too tedious to spell it out any further. You are not children (unless, of course, you are children). 

So, in the sonnet I am writing here as an example, the 3rd line has to end in a word that rhymes with “living”, which is easy, because there are literally zillions of words that end in “ing”, and the 4th line has to rhyme with “portmanteau”, which at first sight seems a bit more difficult but it’s not as bad as you might think. 

      O Celia, since I have been living

      Alone inside this giant portmanteau

      I think of all the songs you used to sing

      And why the hell you left me I don’t know

 

4. 

If you are not happy with what you have written so far you can always throw out all or some of it and have another go:     

      O Celia, since I have been living

      Alone inside this giant portmanteau

      O how your worth and manners may I sing 

      I wish that we could have another go 

You just have to keep trying to think up stuff until you get it right. You can steal a line from someone else’s sonnet if you want to; it’s very unlikely anyone will notice.

 

5. 

The first 8 lines of your sonnet should be like a kind of setting out of a situation, or explaining a problem, and then the last 6 lines are supposed to be a response to that situation, or an answer to the problem, or whatever. So here are my first 8 lines, which I just now knocked up very quickly: 

      O Celia, since I have been living

      Alone inside this giant portmanteau

      O how your worth and manners may I sing. 

      I wish that we could have another go.

      Inside this bag I’ve had some time to think

      Of how you might have got the wrong idea

      About my use of drugs and what I drink.

      O Celia, to me you are so dear. 

So, with Celia having left me because she has misinterpreted, not for the first time, what she sees as my life choices and behaviour, and me being stuck living alone inside a bag, not for the first time, how do I propose to resolve the situation in the remaining 6 lines? Please proceed to the next section.

 

6. 

Do not expect writing a sonnet to be easy. If writing a sonnet was easy everybody would be doing it. Also, I have no idea where Celia is, she’s probably gone back and shacked up again with Sebastian, and she may never read the poem, but do not allow the absence of audience to put you off, and do not listen to those who tell you this is an outmoded way of writing. The world is full of know-it-alls. So, I resolve the situation as set out in the first 8 lines with the next 6 lines thus: 

      My therapist says I’m doing OK

      And in six months I should be clean and dry

      He says I’m getting better by the day

      And now I think it’s up to you to try,

      O Celia, to show some love and care.

      You should be here and certainly not there. 

 

7. 

So, as you can see, we now have a complete sonnet, thus:           

      O Celia, since I have been living

      Alone inside this giant portmanteau

      O how your worth and manners may I sing. 

      I wish that we could have another go.

      Inside this bag I’ve had some time to think

      Of how you might have got the wrong idea

      About my use of drugs and what I drink.

      O Celia, to me you are so dear.

      My therapist says I’m doing OK

      And in six months I should be clean and dry.

      He says I’m getting better by the day,

      And now I think it’s up to you to try,

      O Celia, to show some love and care:

      You should be here and certainly not there. 

The accomplished sonnet, as you will note from this example, is tightly-structured and well-organized thematically. You may find your first sonnets are not much good, but don’t give up until it becomes blindingly obvious you are not cut out for this kind of writing. There are lots of other things you can do, probably.

 

8. 

Finally, you need to give your sonnet a suitable title. I have called this one “CELIA, YOU HEARTLESS BITCH”, although I am thinking of changing it to “FOR CELIA, THE ABSENT ANGEL”. 


(This very helpful article is available as a PDF here.)